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Myfanwy 2

December 2017

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Myfanwy 2

A Mother's Duty - Chapter Eleven

A Mother's Duty - Chapter Eleven
Author: Milady Dragon
Series: Dragon-Verse
Rating: PG-13
Pairing(s): JackHarkness/Ianto Jones, Anwyn Harkness-Jones/Gwaine, Phil Coulson/Clint Barton, Arthur/Merlin (Mentioned)
Warnings: Angst, Mental Health Issues, Reincarnation
Spoilers:  Mostly for S2, E12 and E13 of Torchwood
Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood, I would have treated it better.
Author's Note: This is the second story in the "Samara Wells Trilogy".  It deals with some issues that might be distressing to some, especially mental health issues concerning Jack's brother, Gray.  I'm not a trained therapist, so anything in here that might not work in the real world...well, it's all on me.

A/N2:  I'm only posting one chapter today, because of time and the fact that the next two chapters really should be posted together.

Summary:  Samara Wells got one of her sons back.  It's time to try and get the other back as well. 


 

18 August 5115 (Earth Standard Time)

Gliese 581g (Hubworld)

 

“I need to see him.”

Samara didn’t know if that was such a good idea, and told Jack so.

“I need to know before I decide what to tell Ianto about that promise you asked him for,” her son said.  “If he’s that far gone…”

“Jack,” she sighed, taking him into a hug.  She could feel him trembling in her arms, and she quite suddenly hated Gray for what he’d done to his own brother, even though it wasn’t really her younger son’s fault.  His mind had been destroyed by his captivity, and while she still had some hope that Gray might be redeemable there was still that chance that he was too far gone for anything that they did to work.

Jack and Ianto had met them at the Tower that morning, in the security suite where Phillip would be watching.  He’d reported that Gray had had a relatively quiet night, and had only been given minimal sedation since he’d appeared so calm, even when the doctors were in to examine him.  He hadn’t been exactly cooperative, but at least he hadn’t fought them on anything.

“Let me go in first,” she suggested, pulling away but leaving her hands on his shoulders.  “I want to gauge his mood today.  If he seems to be calm, then come on in, alright?”

“I can do that,” he agreed.  “I’ve seen the recordings of the last couple of days, and know he’s not exactly going to be glad to see me…”

She couldn’t lie to him about it, and so she simply nodded.  “Clint, you’re going to be with me today?”

Her grandson nodded.  He was again wearing his Torchwood uniform, with his bow over his shoulder.  “You’re not going in there alone, Gran.”

Honestly, she was glad of it, even though it potentially put him in danger from his own uncle.  Still, she wasn’t about to share their relationship with Gray. 

“Phillip and I will be out here, watching on the screens,” Ianto reassured his mate, resting a hand in the small of Jack’s back.  That touch seemed to settle him, and Jack nodded in response. 

Phillip was nodding in agreement.  Samara had explained to both Clint and his mate just what she’d asked Ianto yesterday in the park, and they’d both understood her reasoning behind it.  Phillip had assured her, that, if for some reason Ianto wasn’t able to give her that promise, that he would.  Clint had smirked and then kissed Phillip, fondly calling him a badass.

It was just another example that their family was willing to look out for each other, and if one of them couldn’t then someone else would take up the cause.

Samara had no idea how she’d been so blessed by her family, but she thanked the Goddess every day for all of them.

She hugged each and every one of them, and then headed back to Gray’s room, Clint at her heels, his presence comforting her in ways she couldn’t even begin to describe.

The same two guards were on the door, and they acknowledged them as they walked closer.  “Good morning,” the right-hand man greeted as he turned to disengage the lock. 

Samara wished him a good morning as well as she pushed the door open.  For the first time there was a nurse in the room beyond, and he nodded as he passed out of the door, to leave them alone with Gray.

Clint took up his position against the wall once more, as Samara claimed the chair that was still beside the bed.  Gray was watching her closely, his dark eyes wary as she sat.  “You came back,” he said, sounding somewhat surprised.

“Of course I did.  You’re my son, and I’m not about to abandon you.”  She was slightly shocked at his reaction to her, and it was all she could do not to lean forward and rest her hand on his. 

“Haven’t you already?” He rolled his eyes in disgust.

“I’m here, aren’t I?”

He shrugged as best he could with his hands restrained.

“Gray, have you given any thought to what I said yesterday?”  She held her breath, waiting for him to answer.

Once again, he shrugged.  “What else do I have to do around here?  Torchwood’s not about to let me go.”

“And you know why.”

“Because I’m such a danger to everyone?” he asked, sounding incredulous.

“You can’t be blind to the threat you pose to anyone innocent enough to get in your way.”

“I’m only a threat to the ones who think my brother is worth something to them.” The dismissal in his voice cut across Samara’s heart like a knife.

“Which is everyone here,” she pointed out.  “You can understand why they’d want to keep you away from anyone else.”

“So I’m never getting out of here.”  The expression on his face was actually proud. 

“You will if you prove you’re no longer a danger.”

“Then I’m never going to get these off.”  He shook the restraints on his wrists.

Samara despaired at just that, but couldn’t let him see it in her.  She hadn’t expected a miraculous recovery, after all.  Perhaps it was time to let Phillip bring his therapists into this? She certainly wasn’t doing her son any good.

“I wanted to let you know,” she said slowly, “that this is the last time I’ll be coming in to see you.”

Gray huffed a tired laugh. “And here you said you weren’t going to abandon me.”

She didn’t like having her words thrown back at her, but she replied, “I’m not.  However, I’m not what you need right now.”  He needed professional help, and Samara felt as if she was simply making things worse.

“And just what do I need, Mother?” he sneered, baring his teeth at her.

“Whatever it is,” she confessed, “it’s not me.”  It was a heavy confession to make.  All Samara wanted to do was bring her boy back, but she was beginning to suspect that wasn’t going to happen using her current methods.  “I thought I could convince you to stop blaming your brother for something he wasn’t responsible for, but I don’t think that’s going to work.  It’s time for you to speak to someone who’s not so…emotionally compromised, when it comes to you and Jamys.”

“I’m never going to stop blaming him, Mother,” Gray hissed, straining forward.  “He’s the reason behind everything that happened to me.  Someday, I’m going to get out of this place, and I’ll track him down.  I’m going to make his life a hell, in payment for what mine’s been like!  And you’re not going to be able to talk me out of it.”

Samara wanted to weep, for her youngest who so hated his own brother; and that brother, who was watching on the surveillance cameras in the security centre, and who had to be aching with what Gray was spewing at him, even though he couldn’t possibly know that Jack was hearing all this. 

Instead, she simply stood, knowing that she didn’t dare show weakness in front of her damaged baby boy.  If he saw anything like that in her, he would leap to the metaphorical kill, no matter that she was his mother. 

She’d already proved that she didn’t hold the same beliefs that he, himself, did.  Samara had this feeling that she’d opened herself up for a piece of his revenge as well.

Samara had once wondered what the difference between revenge and vengeance was.  Ianto had replied, “Vengeance is only against the person who wronged you.  Revenge often has collateral damage, most of that on purpose.”

The hope was still there, that somehow they could get Gray back on the path to his family, but Samara now knew that Phillip had placed his trust in the wrong person.  She couldn’t handle this.  There wasn’t a thing she could do but let a professional do their job, and then when she could actually do the most to help Gray, she could step back in. 

This wasn’t giving up.  If it had been, she’d have been asking Phillip to put Gray back into cryo-freeze.  No, she just knew what her limits were, and she’d reached them.  All she could do was reiterate her stance on just whose fault it was that Gray had been taken in the first place, and they just weren’t going to agree until a lot of the anger he was feeling was gone. 

Samara ignored him as Gray tried to call her back, his voice begging her to stay.  No, sometimes you just had to walk away, when you weren’t going to be able to do the most good.

“Damn,” Clint said, once the door was closed and locked behind them, “that’s what I call tough love.” 

“I’ve never heard it called that before,” she admitted, her voice shaking, catching his meaning immediately, “but it’s what I had to do.”

She began the trek back to the security centre.  One thing she couldn’t do was let Jack in there.  It might have been several thousand years for him, but the memories were still too strong.  A part of Samara wished he’d forgotten.

They were waiting when they arrived.  Jack immediately hugged her, and she clung to him.  “You can’t go in there,” she murmured.  “It won’t matter what you say…he’ll just hate you even more if he sees you’re happy.”

“Goddess, Mom,” he shuddered against her, “you just did something I could never have done.”

Samara clutched her older son to her, grateful that what Gray had done to him back then hadn’t damaged him, that he was still very much the son she’d almost messed up.  She would thank every god and goddess for that small blessing.

They broke apart almost reluctantly.  Jack gave her a watery smile, his eyes glistening with unshed tears.  They flicked over Samara’s head.  “You’ll make sure he gets the help he needs.”  It wasn’t a question; it was an order from the original Director of the Torchwood Institute, and when she glanced at Phillip she could see he wasn’t at all upset that he was being commanded by Jack. 

“You know I will,” Phillip swore.

Clint put his arm around his mate, and Phillip leaned into the embrace, even though he wasn’t usually prone to enjoying public displays of affection, and they weren’t alone in the security centre.  It just proved that he was as affected as everyone else, even if he hadn’t been there during Gray’s assault on Old Cardiff.

Something must have communicated her confusion to him, because Phillip said, “My nephew was involved in Gray’s original attack.  He was injured very badly.”

Jack nodded.  “I remember that.  Patrick was a good man…and a good son-in-law.”

There was a story there, one that Samara very much wanted to know.  She would have to ask about it later.  Now, she wanted to leave, and not hear Gray’s pleas in her head anymore.

It was time for a retreat, and to let those more versed in helping Gray with his issues to take over.  Samara was just too emotionally involved to help her child any longer.

She felt like she was a total failure as a mother.

 

 

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