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Myfanwy 2

November 2018



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Destination Cardiff - Chapter One

Destination Cardiff - Chapter One
Author: Milady Dragon
Series: Dragon-Verse
Rating: PG
Pairing(s): Jack/Ianto; Toshiko/Kathy (mentioned); Gwen/Rhys (mentioned)
Warnings: Language
Spoilers: None really
Disclaimer:  I don't own Torchwood, I would have treated it better.  I also don't own Destination Truth, but I enjoy the show anyway
Author's note:  This is just a short two-parter that I came up with for my Long Live Ianto Bingo Card, Prompt: Fairy Tales and Folklore.  It's also as close to writing RPF as I'll ever get, since Josh Gates and Erin Ryder are real people, albeit television celebrities in a reality show.  Personally I consider anyone in a reality show to be an actor, even if they're going by their real names. 

A/N2:  I was going to write the Dragon-Verse version of "Sleeper" next, but this bunny bit me instead.  I do admit to a slight crush on Josh Gates, so please don't hold that against me.   

Summary:  The "Destination Truth" team are in Cardiff investigating rumours of a dragon that likes to hang around the Millennium Centre.  Ianto isn't too happy about that.

24 June 2008

Ianto Jones stood at the coffee machine in the Hub, humming a courting song while his hands moved smoothly over the controls, a small smile on his lips.

It had been a good night, but an early morning Weevil alert had sent Jack out into the wilds of Splott, leaving Ianto in an empty house.  He’d changed back into human form – since it was uncomfortable for him to sleep that way, and Jack seemed to enjoy resting beside his dragon body – showered, changed, and arrived at the Hub, with plenty of time to have coffee ready by the time his mate returned.

He was just pulling mugs down from the shelf when his mobile rang, with the ringtone that announced the call coming through the Tourist Office line. 

Frowning, Ianto pulled the phone from his pocket, recognizing the number as being from the Welsh Tourism Board.  He didn’t get many calls from them; they considered the Mermaid Quay office to be too small to bother with.

He flipped the phone open.  “Tourist Information Centre, Mermaid Quay, Ianto Jones speaking.”

“Good morning, Mr. Jones.  This is Celia Allen, Director of Public Relations for the Tourism Board.  How are you?”

Ianto recognized her name, although he had never spoken to her personally.  “Good morning, Ms Allen,” he answered politely.  “I’m doing very well, thank you.  What can I do for you?”

This was a bit of a surprise.  They usually left the Tourist Office alone, and would as long as Ianto was very careful to keep the tiny office’s accreditation up-to-date.  He could avoid any awkward questions that way.

“I wanted to make you aware that an American production crew was going to be filming on the Plass starting on Wednesday evening.”

Ianto’s frown turned into a grimace.  That wasn’t good.  Sometimes it was bad enough that the Hub was built under such a major tourist attraction…but this, there was no telling what might happen if some sort of camera crew were in the wrong place, at the wrong time.  “Really?” he answered, feigning being pleased at the news. 

“Oh yes,” Ms Allen went on enthusiastically.  “It’s for a reality show called “Destination Truth”.  Have you heard of it?”

“Vaguely.”  Actually, Ianto was fairly familiar with it; it was a show that purported to investigate such phenomena such as Yeti, skunk apes, and other mysterious creatures.  In fact, they’d managed to get on Archie’s nerves during their investigation of Loch Ness; the director of Torchwood Two had had to convince the Skarasen living in the Loch to leave long enough for the film crew to get their footage and to go back empty-handed.  Retconning the odd tourist was fine; but an American film crew?  That would have caused more problems than it was worth.

“Well, they’re coming to look into rumours of a dragon hanging around the Millennium Centre.  It’s all a bit of nonsense, but anything that brings attention to Cardiff can’t be a bad thing, can it?”

“Absolutely not.”  Inwardly, Ianto cursed himself.  How had that particular rumour gotten back to a production company in the US?  It must have been through some tourist, because the local business people knew about Torchwood, if not exactly where they were based, and anything odd that seemed to happen around the bay was always chalked up to them and their ‘spooky-do’s’…which apparently included a mythical, winged creature who had the tendency to use the Millennium Centre roof as a launching pad.  

“Their advance people will be in the area today,” she said.  “They’ll be getting background on the supposed sightings, and will do preliminary interviews with local business owners and employees.  You should be expecting them pretty soon, I believe.  I do hope you’ll give our guests a good first impression!”

Lovely.  Just what Ianto wanted to do today: show around a group of people determined to find a dragon.  Little would they know the person playing tour guide was the very dragon they sought, which was an irony Ianto didn’t want to look too closely at. 

Then he almost groaned aloud when he realized just how Jack was going to react, let alone the others.

“Certainly, Ms Allen,” he said smoothly.  “I’ll do my utmost.”

“That’s all I can ask,” she enthused.  “Good luck, and if you need anything please don’t hesitate to call.”

She rang off, leaving Ianto to wonder at just how quickly his day had gone from really good…to really, really bad.


As he’d predicted, Jack was less than enthusiastic about the whole thing. 

In fact, he was downright pissed off.

“I thought you were careful about letting people get pictures of you,” he said sharply, after Ianto had explained.

Jack had come back in with the Weevil in tow, and smelling like the very sewer the creature had crawled out of.  So, he’d already been in a bad mood when Ianto had met him down at the cells.

“I thought I was,” Ianto admitted.  He thought he’d been cautious; he’d kept his eye out for anything that would show up on the internet, erasing or crashing or even discrediting it.  It was part of his job to do just that, as long as with any and all true alien sightings that were posted online.  “The only thing I can think of is that it was some sort of tourist who didn’t get so excited that they’d posted their picture of Facebook or somewhere else.”

“Instead they’d sent it in to some sort of reality show, and we’re going to have them filming on our very doorstep.”

“Yes, I’m afraid so.”

Together they got the Weevil into the cell, and then Ianto followed Jack up to his quarters so his mate could shower and change.  “Have you warned the others about coming in through the tourist entrance?”  Jack stormed into his office, shucking clothing as he went and not caring where they were flung.

Ianto flinched at the mess.   “I have.  Everyone will be coming in through the garage entrance for the time being.”  He gingerly picked up the discarded shirt, pulling away from the smell.  The cloth was also damp, which intimated that Jack had fallen into sewage at some point.  No wonder his mate was being such a bear. 

Ianto didn’t want to see the inside of the SUV.  He shuddered at the mess that had to be waiting on him to clean up.

“Good.  Then, why don’t you go and meet this television crew, and see what they’ve actually got on our dragon.”

Ianto hastened to obey.  It wasn’t something he wanted to do, but at the same time he really didn’t want to hang around Jack’s anger, either.  He knew his temper, and Ianto was well aware that it would take Jack time to work through it.

Not that he blamed the immortal for being pissed off.  Ianto wasn’t happy about it, either.


“So,” Owen drawled, “Dragon Boy is a celebrity.”

Ianto rolled his eyes.  He’d just spent the morning with the pre-production crew from “Destination Truth” and it had been an interesting experience.  “Not by choice,” he snarked back, setting the tray of coffees down on the boardroom table.

Jack had obviously shared Ianto’s new-found fame with the rest of the team by the time he’d finished showing the visitors around.   Owen had wanted to know if Ianto could introduce him to Keira Knightly, his actress du jour; Toshiko had pretended to be so awestruck that she would swoon every time she saw him; and Gwen had simply glared at him, disapproving of the whole thing.   Ianto had taken it all in stride, until Jack had walked in with a “Destination Truth” t-shirt on and had asked Ianto to sign his penis.

Apparently his lover had gotten over being mad about the whole ‘his mate was seen in his natural form by a tourist’ thing.

“How did they find out?”  Toshiko asked, taking her coffee.  “You’re usually so careful…”

“Apparently,” Ianto answered, “someone got a very blurry picture of something large and green perched on the roof of the Millennium Centre.”  He pulled the copy he’d been given out of his jacket pocket, passing it around.

“How the bloody hell did they get a dragon out of that?”  Owen scoffed as he took a good look at the photo.

Gwen didn’t really look at it, but passed it on to Toshiko, who laughed.  “I’m guessing they’re taking the photographer’s word that this is really a dragon.”  She gave it to Jack, who barked out a laugh.

“All we need is a young Steve McQueen and we have enough to make The Blob,” he chortled.  Ianto raised an eyebrow in surprise at Jack’s movie reference.   “What?” he demanded. 

“You know The Blob,” Ianto said, “but you didn’t know Lord of the Rings?”

Jack shrugged.  “I would have watched it a lot sooner, if I’d known Viggo Mortensen was so hot.  Besides, I had a lot more time in the 50’s to go out and enjoy myself than I do now.”

Ianto had to concede the point.  “But the pre-production team got ahold of it through a personal friend of someone on another show, and decided to investigate.  The reason I didn’t know about it was that it was never published anywhere.  It was sent straight on to the person responsible for getting them their cases.”

“We’re going to need to be more careful from now on,” Jack warned.  “We’ve been able to head off any witnesses to Ianto’s transformations until now, and honestly…this was bound to happen eventually.  I just never even considered that it would show up on an American television programme.”

“Can’t we just Retcon the film crew?”  Gwen asked.

Ianto shook his head.  “Too many people outside Cardiff would know the reason for them being here.  We’d have to Retcon at least half a hundred individuals in order to completely hide anything.”

“Archie had this same crew out on Loch Ness,” Jack added.  “Luckily Nessie was cooperative, and kept hidden while they were there.”

“There’s really a Loch Ness Monster?”  Gwen asked, surprised.

“Remnant of an attempted alien takeover in the 1970’s,” Jack answered.  “A particularly nasty race of shape-changers who’d been stranded on Earth for centuries were using her as a food source.   They lived on her milk, apparently.  When the Doctor defeated the takeover, Nessie went back to live in the loch.  Everyone thought it was the best solution, and Archie adores her even though she can be a real terror.”

Ianto wondered when Gwen would stop being surprised at whatever she heard regarding aliens. 

“Back on topic,” Jack said.  “We’re going to do the same thing here.  Let the film crew come, and then keep the dragon under wraps until they’re gone.  The businessmen around here pretty much know about it anyway, and will keep the secret.”

“Hell,” Owen said, “they know about Torchwood and keep that secret too.”

“They’re actually proud of it,” Toshiko added.  “It’s almost become a status symbol: the closer to the bay, the bigger the bragging rights.”                                                                                                            

“You can ask anyone in Cardiff about Torchwood, and they’ll be pointed toward the bay,” Ianto replied.

“I still say I didn’t know a thing about Torchwood until that night, at that crime scene,” Gwen groused.

“That’s because you just didn’t talk to the right people,” Jack answered.  “Okay, let’s get back to work.  Ianto, when is the actual film crew going to show up?”


“And I’m guessing the Tourism Board wants you to spend time with them?”

Ianto grimaced.  “Unfortunately.”

“Then it’ll be up to you to keep them busy.  Afterward, you’ll need to stay under cover until they’re gone.”

He gave Jack a heated look.  “I’m certain I can find things to do until after they’re gone.”

Jack leered back.  “I can always assign you…extra duties.”

“Jesus Fucking Christ,” Owen exclaimed, “just stop already!”

Chapter Two


I admit that I don't know the reality show you mention but the Idea of a long suffering Ianto listen to babble about his Dragon form is very funny. Jack would totally ask Ianto to sign his penis, I wonder if Ianto actually did it?


Edited at 2012-06-20 08:58 pm (UTC)
"Destination Truth" is on Syfy, and it's really good I think, but that really comes down to the host, Josh Gates. He's wonderfully sarcastic.

As for Ianto signing Jack's penis...well, it would depend on what Jack wants him to use to sign it, most likely. *winks*

Edited at 2012-06-22 01:27 am (UTC)
This should be interesting!
Thanks! I hope so. :)
*giggle* I love Destination Truth.
Oh, I do too! I just can't get enough of Josh Gates, I even bought his book. *grins*
I so love Owen. And looking forward to part 2.
Owen is so much fun to write!

Part two up in a bit. :)
“So,” Owen drawled, “Dragon Boy is a celebrity.” Heh, heh, I do love Owen. You've captured his voice perfectly. And Jack had walked in with a “Destination Truth” t-shirt on and had asked Ianto to sign his penis - Ahahaha, choked on my coffee witth that one.
Thanks! I enjoy writing Owen. *grins*

I guess I should have put a choking warning on this. LOL!
This is obviously not one of the better things that could have happened to them, but I'm sure Jack and Ianto can handle it just fine if they put their heads together, something it sounds like they will be doing in the not too distant future.

I'm afraid Owen is never going to get his wish because there's not a chance they're ever going to stop. I've got a hunch it won't be a pen Ianto will be using to give Jack his "autograph" either.
Nope, you're right, and we'll see how they handle it.

Oh, no...Owen is just going to have to deal with it. LOL! And no, Ianto wouldn't purposely mar Jack's penis. *grins*
I'm always so happy when you have update or new story! Don't know the show but I pretty much stay away from reality shows. Loving this so far but then I love everything you write! Thank's for sharing and can't wait for more!
I think "Destination Truth" is one of the very few reality shows I enjoy, and it's all because of the host, Josh Gates. I even bought his book!

More up in a bit. :)
Thank you! "Destination Truth" is a fun show, and its host Josh Gates is wonderfully sarcastic. I'm glad you could get it just from the description. *grins*

I love this. Naturally Ianto was going to be picked up sooner or later in modern times. Hee Hee. Really tickles my funny bone. Great start I can't wait to see where this is going, for once I have no suspicions or hypothesis! :)
It really was just a matter of time, you're right. Glad you liked it! :)
This is fun! Signing Jack's penis....just the Initials or his full name?
Well, if the tape measures don't lie, it would most likely be his full name. LOL!
Ianto had better keep Jack far away from Josh Gates lol.
LOL! Oh dear... *laughs*
I can so see Jack asking him to sign his penis and Ianto doing it lmao. Poor Ianto Loving this lol
Oh yes, Jack would do it. But it would depend on what Jack would want Ianto to use to sign it as to whether he would or not. LOL!
one is never too careful!!
Poor Ianto, it is so discreet ....
Jack, T shirts and .... : LOL

Gwen learns to Nessie: lol! she seems calmed now.
Yep, you're right, but it was only a matter of time.

Jack will get that autograph, you know! *laughs*
Oh dear - poor Ianto. Always love mentions of Nessie. I've not heard of the show but looking forward to how Ianto deals with it.
I know, but he was bound to be found out eventually. And Nessie...Archie adores her. *laughs*

More up in a bit. :)
I'm surprised they haven't had to deal with something like this before! What a hoot!
It really was only a matter of time before someone got something. And this is what happened. LOL!