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Myfanwy 2

October 2018



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Myfanwy 2

The Men from TORCHWOOD - Chapter Four

The Men from TORCHWOOD - Chapter Four
Author: Milady Dragon
Rating: PG-13
Pairing(s): Jack/Ianto, Illya Kuryakin/Napoleon Solo; Tosh/Diane
Warning: Language, violence
Spoilers: Up through Season Two, "Something Borrowed", although this is an alternate take on the entire series. None really for "Man from U.N.C.L.E." although I have kept Illya's and Napoleon's retirement professions from "The Fifteen Years Later Affair." Oh, and this chapter contains a very small spoiler from the radio play "The Dead Line".
Disclaimer: I don't own "Torchwood" or "Man from U.N.C.L.E.", just kinda playing a bit with them. 
Author's Note:  This is a prequel to my Torchwood Big Bang story, Torchwood Blues (LJ) (DW).  In that story, Jack and Ianto have had a CP for over a year, and this is about the events leading up to that Civil Partnership.  Since this is an Alternate Reality, certain things are different; for one thing, Gwen didn't break the Retcon in "Everything Changes" so she isn't a member of Torchwood;  Owen wasn't killed in "Reset"; and Diane Holmes didn't leave in "Out of Time" and is, in fact, in Torchwood.  As is Tish Jones, Martha's sister.  This is also a crossover with "Man from U.N.C.L.E.". 

Summary: Between alien interference, overprotective uncles, well-meaning teammates, and a disastrous stag do, how do Jack and Ianto cope with events leading up to their Civil Partnership?


Chapter Four

The Welcome to the Family Affair


Illya watched as Ianto dragged Jack away, to the accompaniment of Napoleon’s laughter.  He spun, pinning his partner with a sharp look.  “What’s so funny?”

Napoleon grinned.  “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone act so far out of character in order to impress someone.  He must really have it bad for Ianto.”

“I fail to see the humor in the situation.” 

“Of course you do!  Come on…haven’t you ever wanted to make such a good impression that you’re willing to do anything to achieve it? Oh wait, I forgot this is you we’re talking about.”

His tone was light, but Illya took offense anyway.  “I don’t see the need to act beyond your character in order to get on a person’s good side.  Unless, of course, it’s in the line of duty.” 

His partner shook his head.  “Well, I think it’s sweet.”

“You’re a hopeless romantic.”  Although he wouldn’t admit it, Illya thought it showed that Jack was willing to do anything to please Ianto.  He just didn’t have to like it much.

“And you love me for it.”

Illya couldn’t help it; his face softened.  “I do, yes.”

Napoleon leaned forward, as if to kiss his partner; then pulled back, smirking.  “I know how much you hate public displays.”

“And you are a tease.”

Any response Napoleon might have made was interrupted by their server, bringing their salads.  The dark-haired man favored her with a flirtatious smile, and the woman returned it, blushing slightly.

After she was gone, the smile turned into a smirk.  “I still got it.”

Illya rolled his eyes, not knowing just how much he resembled his nephew with the expression.  “Whatever it is, do not give it to me.”

Napoleon laughed, spearing his salad with his fork.

Ianto and Jack returned just as they were finishing.  Illya barely controlled his smirk as he got the first glimpse of his nephew and the captain; both looked flushed, and it was obvious just what they’d been getting up to in the mens’ room.

He’d call it ‘young love’ but he had a pretty good guess just how old the other groom was.

“Sorry about that,” Ianto apologized, taking his seat once more.

“Yeah, “Jack added, leering.  “Ianto just can’t control himself around me.”

“I think you might have that the wrong way around, sir.”

Illya’s mouth almost dropped open at the sheer amount of sensuality dripping from that single word.  This was from his nephew?  And in a public place, no less!  He’d have to have a talk with Napoleon about corrupting the young…or maybe that should be Jack...

Jack was staring at him, his blue eyes darker.  “What have I said about you calling me that?” he practically purred.

“What haven’t you said?” Ianto managed to look completely innocent.

“You have a point.”

“Eat your salad, Jack.”

“Yes, sir!”  With a salute that managed to be both playful and salacious, Jack tucked into his salad as if it would jump up and escape if he didn’t devour it fast enough.

The change in Jack Harkness was amazing to see.  He went from near silent and polite, to loud and teasing, telling a story that Illya guessed was majorly edited in order to make it safe for public consumption.   He had Napoleon snorting wine out of his nose at one point, and Ianto simply shook his head in disbelief as he handed his uncle a napkin to clean up with. 

As he finished, the server came to collect their salad bowls, and to bring more bread and drinks.  Napoleon gave Jack a look, and then asked innocently, “Have you heard anything from Stella Courtney lately?”

Jack choked on his water. 

“Jack?” Ianto asked, slapping his fiancé on the back in an attempt to clear his airway.

“I-I don’t know who you mean,” the captain managed to splutter.

Napoleon looked smug.  Illya didn’t think he had the right to, because quite honestly he wanted to know who this Stella Courtney person was. 

“I would have thought Stella would be pretty unforgettable,” Napoleon went on.  “Gorgeous, smart, a tiger in bed…”

Ah…an ex-lover.  That explained why Illya didn’t know her.   He wasn’t at all interested in his partner’s affairs, either before they got together or those times when Napoleon would have had to use his powers of seduction in the course of a mission.

Jack narrowed his eyes.   “And how was I supposed to have known this Stella person?”

“You and she were quite an item for about five weeks in 1973.”

Illya was impressed that Jack didn’t even bat an eyelid.  “And I’m supposed to have been old enough to date in the 70’s?”

The two men stared at each other.  It was like watching a silent interrogation, and Illya wondered who would break first.

The chuckle from Ianto broke the stalemate.  “You know.”

“It wasn’t that hard to figure out,” Illya answered, bringing out the Kuryakin-Jones smirk.

Jack rolled his eyes, and the other man wondered if he’d gotten the expression from Ianto.  “I’d love to know how you found out about me.”

“There are records on you dating back several decades,” Illya said, “if you know where to look.”

“Can’t be Torchwood…I got rid of those ages ago,” Jack mused.

“UNIT then?” Ianto supplied.

“Must have been.  I’m going to have to ask the Brigadier to clean those records out for me.  He’s about the only one I trust to do it.”

“There’s Martha.”

“I don’t consider Martha working for them.  She’s just on loan until I can get her here to Cardiff permanently.”

Illya was a little confused by the exchange, and wasn’t afraid to ask questions.  “Martha?”

“Dr. Martha Jones,” Ianto answered.  “She’s a very good friend of Jack’s and mine.  You’ll meet her and her family before the ceremony.”

“She saved the world,” Jack said solemnly.  “Her and the Doctor.”

“Don’t forget your contribution to that, Jack,” Ianto said warmly.  He reached over and took his fiancé’s hand, squeezing it lightly.  The look on his face…

It was at that moment that, if Illya had had any doubt of his nephew’s feelings, it would have been swept aside.  The sheer pride and love that was focused on Jack Harkness almost took his breath away.

A flash of pain flared in Jack’s eyes.  “I rather would, you know.”

There was more of a story there, and Illya was debating about whether to ask when Napoleon spoke up.  “The Doctor?  You mean the Time Lord Doctor?”

“Yep, that’s him.”  Jack seemed to shake off the melancholy that had settled over him. 

“Both Martha and Jack were Companions.”  The capital ‘C’ was obvious in Ianto’s voice.  There was also a coldness in his eyes, that Illya really wanted to ask about.

U.N.C.L.E. had been very aware of whom the Doctor was; it was widely expected that, anyone running into him while on an assignment was to give the Time Lord any assistance he might require, even if it meant breaking cover.   That went for his Companions as well. 

It made Illya see his potential nephew in a different light.

To be honest, he still wasn’t quite sure of the captain.  The beginning of the evening hadn’t gone all that favorably, at least in Illya’s opinion.  And, after the visit to the mens’ room he seemed to change, becoming more outrageous…which had been what he’d expected in the first place.  And now, to find out the man had traveled with the Doctor…    

“Okay,” Jack pinned Napoleon with his eyes.  “As to the question that started this whole section of conversation…yeah, I’ve kept my eye on Stella over the years.  She’s a Professor of Neuroscience now, and she’s a grandmother to boot.  Still sexy as hell, though.”

Napoleon smiled.  “That’s good to know.  She did me a good turn back then, so I’m glad to know she’s doing so well.”

“Just how did you meet her?”

“I was sent over here on assignment, and I needed someone with her particular skill set.  I approached her, and she was more than willing to help.  Said she wanted to let her boyfriend down easy, though, first.”  Napoleon looked insufferable at that.

Jack’s jaw dropped.  “She dumped me for you!” 

“I do believe she did, yes.”

“I don’t bloody believe it!” the immortal exclaimed.  Then his eyes narrowed.  “I even saw you!  It’s been bothering me since I first met you that I thought I recognized you, and I saw you picking Stella up at her flat the night she broke it off with me!”  He huffed.  “I just can’t believe it.  I got dumped for a spy.”

Ianto patted Jack’s arm.  “It’s okay, Jack.  You still have me.”  While his expression might have been sympathetic, the laughter in his eyes totally ruined the effect.

Jack mock pouted.  “Will you kiss it and make it better?”

“Later, dear,” he smirked.  “When we’re alone.”

That got rid of the pout, and the expression that took its place was so sexually charged it was a wonder they weren’t kicked out of the restaurant over it.  “I’m counting on it,” he murmured, leaning toward the younger man.

“It’s a promise,” Ianto answered, his voice going down by about an octave.

They would have kissed if the server hadn’t arrived with their entrees.

Ianto and Jack pulled away from each other.  “So,” Jack changed the subject back, “care to tell me just what you said to Stella to get her to go with you?”

“Only that I needed her help.  Oh, I might have told her there was danger involved…”

And so, one uncle and one groom promptly bonded over their adventures with an ex-girlfriend.

Par for the course with his partner as far as Illya Kuryakin was concerned.


“So,” Napoleon drawled, as he removed his jacket and hung it up in the closet, “did tonight make you change your mind about Ianto’s future partner?”

Illya had already divested himself of jacket and shoes, and was lying on the king-sized bed, his back propped up against the headboard.  “I’m considering it,” he allowed.  “Although he and you dating the same woman was a bit surreal.”

His own partner scooped some ice out of the bucket, and filled a glass with water.  “You need to relax a bit, Illya.  Jack’s not a bad guy.  Let’s face it…Ianto could have done so much worse.”

“You’re damning him with faint praise, Napoleon.”

The older man joined him on the bed, positioning a pillow behind his back so he, too, could sit up.   He took a sip of the water, then put the glass down on the bedside table.  “That’s not what I meant and you know it. You need to chill out about this.”

Illya arched an eyebrow at him.  “Did you just tell me to ‘chill out’?”

“I did.  And you should.  Ianto is obviously in love with him, and the feeling’s returned.  What’s got you so against Jack, anyway?”

“I’m not…against him, Napoleon.  I’m just not convinced he’s worthy of our nephew.  Although I do admit that tonight did go some way in dispelling my concerns.”

“So…he’s worthy enough to travel with the vaunted Doctor, but not for Ianto?”

“He’ll always be worth more than some trumped up alien.”

“I do have to agree with you.  Not many would.”

Illya turned a bit, in order to better look at Napoleon directly.  The older man was completely relaxed, playing with the television remote as he surfed the hotel’s cable channels.  His partner had a point; there was a lot of hero worship surrounding the Doctor, and those that did wouldn’t hesitate to completely disregard a Welshman whose father had been a master tailor and mother had been an assistant at a foreign embassy. 

“I got the distinct impression that Ianto doesn’t like him, either.”

“So did I.  I’d love to know what sort of history is there.”  Napoleon leaned over to pick up the glass once more.   “I’d also love to know just what happened during this time when they were supposed to be saving the world.  I know you didn’t miss that either.”

Of course Napoleon hadn’t missed the pain in Jack’s eyes.  “I was going to ask about it, but you interrupted me.”

“I know.  Illya, I really love you, but sometimes you have the tact of a prickly pear and are just as cuddly.  That’s obviously a painful story and not one for the middle of a crowded restaurant.”

The Russian should have been insulted, but his partner was right.  And, in this case, in his quest to learn more about their nephew’s fiancé, he’d been willing to say and do anything to get a rise out of the man.  He realized that would have quickly put him on the outs with his nephew, and he didn’t really want to risk that.

Perhaps Napoleon was right, and he did indeed need to chill out.

Too bad that sort of thing wasn’t in his nature.



Someone dumped Jack for Napoleon Solo? Would've been a harder choice for me... ;)

Napoleon telling Illya to "chill out" was priceless! *giggles*

An UNCLE/Who flashback or crossover would be fun! :)
Well, maybe it was more like she dumped Torchwood for U.N.C.L.E., but hey...it has to happen to Jack at some point! :)

An U.N.C.L.E./Who crossover? Hm...might have to think about that...
LOL at the fact that they share an ex!!! And , being them, they are not even shy or miffed about it.
If Jack and Napoleon would have anything in common, it had to have been an ex. It was inevitable that those two overlapped in some way!

Wonderful - I love Jack back to himself and that he was dumped for Solo. Lots of things for them to find out still about Jack's past and Ianto's view of the Doctor. Looking forward to more.

Well, it had to happen some time, Jack getting dumped. But to have it happen to a future in-law...!
doing the happy dance of a very happy fangirl- two of my favorites together. uncle was my 1st fandom (blush) when i was 8 because of them i wanted to be a spy.
UNCLE was my first online fandom, so writing it's kinda like coming home. I think everyone wanted to be a spy! :)

Thanks so much, glad you liked it!