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Myfanwy 2

September 2018



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Myfanwy 2

Welcome to Armageddon!

Welcome to Armageddon! - Chapter One
Author: Milady Dragon
Rating: PG-13
Pairing(s): Jack/Ianto, Gwen/Rhys, perhaps others later.
Warning(s): Language, violence
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood, and that's too bad.
Author's Note:  This bunny attacked me after seeing a certain picture posted by [personal profile] bookwrm89 , although these aren't quite the Horsemen she had in mind.  I'd also like to dedicate this to her, as well as a big hug and a hope that everything will be better soon.   *Hugs*

Also, this bunny apparently awakened a dormant Gwen-muse that I didn't know I had.  I'm not quite sure how this makes me feel...oh, and this very much AU.  And a bit silly. 

Summary:  It's Gwen Cooper's first day in the Armageddon Department...


Gwen Cooper stepped through the dimensional door and into the large marble foyer of the Armageddon Department, gawking like a tourist as she made her way toward the well-appointed reception desk that took up a large portion of the front of the room.  It was the first time she’d been there; being transferred to Armageddon was as close to getting a dream job as she could get, and she was excited about finally starting her new position.  Of course, it wasn’t like she’d actually ever be called on to take part in an Armageddon situation, but it was oh so important work, being employed by the ones in charge of all sorts of man-made calamities and those that make sure they didn’t get too far out of hand. 

It was a promotion as well.  Up until she’d gotten her request to transfer approved, Gwen had been in Lower Management in the Guardians Section, and to be honest that had been just plain boring.  Everyone was so goody goody there, Gwen had felt she just didn’t belong.  It was no secret that the truly exciting things were happening in such departments as Prophecy, Natural Disasters…and, of course, Armageddon. 

Besides, she’d heard the boss, Apocalypse, was totally hot.

She stopped at the desk, smiling at the young woman sitting behind it.  “Hi, I’m Gwen Cooper…I’m supposed to see Rose Tyler?”

The girl smiled back.  “Rose is expecting you!  She told me to tell you she’d be down shortly; there was an issue with a minor conflagration on Thoros Beta…I’m Emma-Louise by the way.  Welcome to Armageddon!”  She touched a couple of keys on the fancy keyboard inset into her desktop, and Gwen assumed she was somehow letting the woman who was supposed to meet her know that she’d arrived.

“Thanks!  I’m looking forward to working here.”  She really was.  When she’d heard about the upcoming vacancy, Gwen had jumped at the chance to apply.  To be honest, she was surprised she’d been accepted, but she wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

“So you know what you’ll be doing yet?”

“The job posting said something about an opening in Provocation…”

Emma nodded.  “That’d be Suzie’s old job then.  She took a transfer to Prophecy, although the rumor was she was poached by Bilis Manger…”

Of course Gwen had heard of Bilis Manger, the enigmatic head of the Prophecy Department.  He only worked with the best, although it was said the man was creepy as you-know-where.

“Are you Gwen Cooper?”

She turned to see a harassed-looking blonde woman behind her.  She was dressed in a pencil skirt and white blouse, and had several pouches on her rather fashionable belt.  “Yes, I’m Gwen.  Are you Rose?”

“That’s me.  I’m supposed to show you the ropes and get you settled.”  She gave Gwen a smile as she offered her hand. 

Gwen accompanied her guide through the large marble foyer and toward a bank of lifts in the center of the building.  “As you know,” Rose went on, “Armageddon is the dimensional division that causes all sorts of chaos all over the Multiverse.  We handle everything from minor coups, to plagues, crop failures, all the way up to interstellar wars.  It can be non-stop, let me tell you.”  She pressed the ‘up’ button.  “What made you decide to transfer here, anyway?”

“I thought I was going to get diabetes if I stayed any longer in Guardians, with all the sweetness that goes on there,” she answered honestly.  “Plus it was boring.  I felt like I was going to go mad.”  It was all right for Rhys, her boyfriend, but Gwen quickly figured out that she needed more than just ushering souls through their lives.  Standing back and not doing much of anything grated on her.

Rose laughed.  “Yeah, we get a lot of that here.  Believe me, Armageddon is hardly boring.  Especially when you’re working directly for one of the Horsemen.”

The lift door opened with a soft chime.  Gwen followed Rose into the car, staring at her in shock.  “You work for one of the Horsemen?” She couldn’t help the awe in her voice.   Everyone knew of Apocalypse’s Four Horsemen, even if they’d never seen them before.

Rose hit the button for the ninety-ninth floor.  “Yep.  I’m the PA for John Hart…War himself.  Each of the Horsemen has a PA, and you’ll be meeting the girls here in a bit.  We’re really glad to see you…Owen’s been tetchy ever since Katie left for Upper Management.  We still can’t figure out why she did, but good luck to her. “

It took Gwen four floors for her brain to catch up with what Rose was intimating.  “Wait…I’m going to work for Pestilence?”

“Sure.  It’s what you applied for.”  Rose looked at her strangely.  “What did you think you’d be doing?”

“I thought I was getting a place in Provocation!”  She was beginning to panic.  It had never occurred to her that she’d even meet any of the Horsemen, let alone work for one of them directly.

Rose smirked.  “Well, you may have done…but the Horsemen usually get the pick of any new staff who apply here.   Don’t worry,” she added, obviously seeing the look of panic on Gwen’s face, “you’ll be fine.   Owen Harper can be a prat, but he’s the best Pestilence ever.   He’ll give you shit at first, but if you stand up to him he’ll accept you.”

Gwen couldn’t believe how nervous she was.  She’d gotten up that morning fully expecting to start off as a small cog in Provocation, hoping to work herself up in a couple of years to a managerial position that would allow her and Rhys to get married and have children at some point.  Yet, there she was…going to work for one of Apocalypse’s own Horsemen!  It wasn’t possible!

Wait until she told Rhys!  He’d flip!  Then he’d call her a liar!

The lift stopped, and the doors slid open, revealing a large open plan space with one enormous window on the opposite wall, looking out onto the Chaos that was the Veil Between Dimensions.  Four desks were positioned in each corner, each in front of a door, a couple of which were open.  There was a small seating area near the lift, and Rose led Gwen past it and into the room beyond.

There were two other women in the office.  One was a redhead; she was standing at the counter of a small built-in kitchen, and she’d turned to look at them as Rose ushered Gwen forward.   The other had dark hair, in an almost old-fashioned style, and had been seated at the desk closest to the lift. 

“Hello, ladies,” Rose called.  The other two women stopped what they were doing and moved to join them.  “This is Gwen Cooper.  Apparently she really didn’t apply for the job, but Owen picked her.” 

“Course he did!” the redhead snorted. 

Gwen felt like she’d just been insulted.  “I’m sure I can do the job – “

“Honey, she wasn’t saying anything against you,” the brunette put in.  “It’s just Owen…believe me, you’ll see after about an hour with him.”

That made her feel marginally better.  Although it did build up even more worries about working for someone who’d hire a person for something other than her qualifications, even if she doubted that she’d be there if there wasn’t something in her CV that recommended her to Pestilence.

Rose introduced her fellow PA’s.  The brunette was Diane Holmes, and she worked for Andy Davidson, who was currently the Horseman, Famine.  Of them all, she had the least seniority bar Gwen, and seemed nice enough.

The redhead was Donna Noble.  She’d been there almost as long as Rose had, and was PA for Death himself.  “Cute Welshboy that he is,” she smirked, causing the others to giggle.

Gwen’s mouth fell open.  She’d known that with a name like Ianto Jones, that Death had to be Welsh, but coming face-to-face with the truth of it was like getting a slap to the face, even as it made her proud of her own Welshness. 

“You’ll be introduced to Jack’s PA as soon as he’s done with her,” Rose said.  “Tosh is fantastic; I think you’ll love her.”

“Jack?” Gwen asked blankly.  Then it hit her: Jack Harkness.  “Apocalypse has a PA too?”

 “Sure does,” Diane answered.  “He’s the least organized of the lot.  Tosh sure knows how to keep him focused though.”

“Oh, one more thing,” Donna said, “my boss is boinking the Big Man.”

 All right, this was just getting surreal.  “You mean…Apocalypse is…” she made certain hand motions that couldn’t have been mistaken for anything else, “…Death?”

“Jack’s got good taste, is all I can say,” Rose answered. 

“Truer statement never spoken,” Donna agreed.

“Amen, sisters,” Diane added.  “Ianto is hot.  I’d do him.”

“They think they’re being discrete,” Donna went on.  “But Tosh has proof from the inter-office CCTV.  If you ask nicely I’m sure she’ll share.”

Gwen just stood there, as they discussed two of their bosses like that.  This sort of thing would have been frowned upon in Guardians.  It floored her that these gossiping women were the personal assistants to four of the most powerful men in the Multiverse.  But then, if you couldn’t talk about who you worked for…

“Ladies!” a voice drawled, interrupting the confab of PA’s.  “You can stop talking about me now, I’m here!”

Gwen turned with the rest of them.  A man in period military garb had exited from one of the closed doors, and was swaggering toward them, his arms opened as if to embrace them all.    The thought passed through Gwen’s mind that he had really nice cheekbones…

Rose laughed, Donna rolled her eyes, and Diane shook her head. 

“Don’t let anyone ever tell you there’s anything wrong with your ego, John,” Rose retorted, grinning.

The surprise set in again…Gwen was apparently face-to-face with War himself…John Hart.  A part of her wanted to ask for his autograph.  Another part apparently wanted to snog him.  A third wanted to cringe at both thoughts.

For his part, Hart was seriously checking her out.  “What have we here?  Another pretty little friend…?”

“This is Gwen,” Rose introduced once more.  “Owen wanted her.”

“I can see why…yum!”

Gwen felt the blush build up in her cheeks.  The other women were busily making their positions on John’s flirting with the new girl known…mostly along the lines of mock jealousy and playful indignation.

Apparently this wasn’t at all unusual for War to hit on the newbie.  Or anyone else for that matter.

Rose looked stern.  “Leave her alone. We want her to stay.”

John Hart held up his hands in surrender.  “Easy Gorgeous!   Just being friendly!”

“There’s friendly…and then there’s friendly.  And that was definitely friendly.  Now, I suppose you’ll be wanting your schedule?”

“You read me like a book.”

“That’s not hard,” Donna whispered in Gwen’s ear, and she couldn’t help but giggle. 

That earned her a look, but Rose got his attention by pulling a slim PDA from one of the pouches at her waist.   She poked at it with a stylus.  “There’s a palace coup on Sparana Prime in the next hour; a revolution on Piri that’s about to get out of control – that’s your 10am appointment, and Ianto’s already arranged to lend you a pair of his Angels to help out with the mess…”

“Two?” John questioned.  “I don’t think mess is the word we should be using then.”

“If Ianto puts two Angels on it,” Donna murmured to Gwen, “it usually means a massacre.”  A PDA matching Rose’s appeared in her own hand, making notes of her own.   “He usually sticks with just one.”

Gwen nodded.  She was passingly familiar with how Armageddon worked: each Horseman had their own cadre of Angels, to do the work that they wouldn’t – or couldn’t – handle themselves.  There was an awful lot of minor catastrophes out there, and even a powerful being such as a Horseman of the Apocalypse could only be in so many places at once. 

“And we’re expecting a full Armageddon after tea, so Jack wants a lunch meeting with all the Horsemen,” Rose finished. 

Gwen’s heart lurched into overdrive.  On her first day…an Armageddon?

Oh bugger…




OMG - I don't know whether to be horrified or laugh myself into a complete coma ...

You made Ianto DEATH?

Oh - this is beyond... you are brilliant.

More PLEASE ....
Well, you could split the difference and laugh horrifically! :)

Thanks! I'm not sure it's brilliance though, more like insanity...

More soon.
When I laugh so hard the dogs move to sleep in the bathroom it is brilliant.
LOL! The poor babies... :)
Yep, I did. I really think Ianto would make an awesome Death. And he's in the next chapter.

Oh, I'll let Ianto handle the actual revival!

This is hilariously disturbing, which equals a sure favorite of mine, I'm sure!
This is amazing....brilliant idea. And making Ianto death made me pause, think about it, then laugh. ^_^ can't wait to see more updates!
I was aiming for silly, but disturbing works! :)

Ianto as Death...well, he'd be organized enough for it, wouldn't he? LOL!
This is utterly insane and I LOVE it.
Can I take it home, bake it cookies and have its children?

LOL! I'm sure it would quite like cookies, but it's a little immature to be thinking about children just yet...
Interesting, funny and disturbing all at the time.

Well, my bunnies are often disturbing... :)
you sure them bunnies are not on LSD?
Well, then they'd be LSD!bunnies instead of crack!bunnies... but you might have a point, I might have to check their food to make sure nothing's been added... :)
Good I idea if the are mainlinig Crack!!
Well, they're certainly mainlining something! LOL!

strange and fascinating at the same time ....

and funny? ... although ... our beloved characters of Torchwood recycled in horsemen of the Apocalypse and Armageddon agency??
Ianto is death, Jack the Apocalypse?
Here's a good idea preposterous, but ... it works! : I want to know more
I can not wait to see Ianto and Jack!


Re: strange and fascinating at the same time ....

It really is preposterous, isn't it? My bunnies have gone into the Twilight Zine, I think...

Ianto introduces himself in the next chapter!
Here's to when strange ideas work!!
I'm really glad it works! I do admit, I was really afraid it wouldn't...

Oh MD this is a fabulous idea and I love your casting. The four horsemen - inspired and nice to see Andy getting a role. Love Apocalyse shagging Death! Tosh still got her CCTV I see! John Hart as war. You have an amazing mind - you really do. Can't wait to see what you do with this. I'm seeing Ianto in the outfit he wore in End of Days and that lovely black shirt as he sniffs Jack's coat.
Thanks! I really need to figure out just who's feeding my bunnies the extra special food, I swear...!

Oh, and add a really big scythe and you pretty much have Ianto's look down. :)
This is fab, I didn't know what to expect really but I was giggling the whole way through. Love it - especially Ianto as Death and the fact that Donna is his PA. Can't wait for more.
That's good, because I'm not exactly certain what to expect either...!

You know, if Ianto and Donna teamed up, the world wouldn't be safe. :)
Brilliance, pure brilliance. OMG I absolutely love this! I can't wait to see what Gwen's reaction to Ianto is. ^_^

They meet next chapter... :)
ooh - stumbled across this and do seem to be enthralled! I love Piers Anthony's Incarnations of Immortality series and this seems a perfect AU with our favorite characters! *G*

off to read more!
Thanks! It's been ages since I've read those, and I did like them a lot. Hope you like the rest! :)