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Myfanwy 2

June 2018



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Myfanwy 2

Messing With the Mortal Mind

Messing With the Mortal Mind
Author: Milady Dragon
Rating: PG
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Warnings: Does one warn for silliness?  Oh wait, it's me...
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood, because I would have treated it better
Author's note: This is a story in what I suppose I'm going to call my Armageddon-verse...you know, the one where Jack is Apocalypse and Ianto is the sexiest Death ever.  This was written for RedisourColour Challenge #16:  Apocalypse, prompts: nonplus, mucilaginous, table lamp; phrase "What we need is a (insert term here)..."   This is my first time doing this, but I had to...it's Apocalypse!  If I didn't at least try to write this challenge....

Summary:  While Ianto is away, Jack plays...


No one noticed the man walking down the street.

He should have drawn attention.  He was wearing a black suit and dress shirt, the only color in his ensemble being the blood-red tie he wore.   He was handsome, with sharp blue eyes and a knowing smirk, and he strode along with a singleness of purpose that normally would have had the sparse crowd moving out of his way. 

And, if all of those things didn’t grab the attention, then the whacking great scythe he carried should have done the trick.

But no one did notice because, after all, no one noticed Death walking among them unless he wished it.   He could have been slicing off heads right and left, and the glamour that kept him hidden from mortal eyes still would have kept him hidden. 

Not that Ianto Jones would have ever done anything like that.  He kept his scythe well-polished, and it was a bitch to buff out the little nicks that the shining blade would have gotten from cutting through neck bone.

Death made his way down the street, his smirk morphing into a full-blown smile as he caught sight of his destination.  It was a smallish church, with one of those lit rental signs out in the front, and from what was written on it Ianto knew immediately what his lover had gotten up to while he’d been handling the sudden mass extinction of the Farazi, half a universe away. 


Apocalypse was such a kidder.

This was why Ianto didn’t like to leave Jack to his own devices for too long.   He knew exactly what the Celestial could get up to, and he had a feeling this was pretty minor, all told.

He entered the church without having to open the doors.  Ianto actually enjoyed being inside most religious structures; there was a sense of peace to them, and when one was a Horseman of Apocalypse peace was something that didn’t happen all that often.   But then, Peace was a Cherub of Harmony, and them and the Horsemen didn’t hang out together all that much.

Ianto spotted his lover immediately, from where he stood next to the altar, staring up at a particularly fine stained glass representation of the Crucifixion.  He shook his head, resting his scythe on his shoulder, his free hand on his hip.  “What we need,” he said, smile turning back into the familiar smirk, “is a leash.  And I don’t mean that in a pleasurable way.  I leave you for two days…”

Jack Harkness turned then strode toward Death, meeting the smirk with his own, blinding smile.  “It’s not my fault some of these people are so gullible.”  He stopped just inside Ianto’s personal space.   “Besides, it’s fun to nonplus the self-proclaimed prophets.  Some of them don’t have the common sense of a table lamp.”

Well, Ianto had to agree, but he wasn’t going to give Jack that pleasure.  He let out a put-upon sigh.  “What was it this time, then?  A great asteroid?  A plague?  Oh wait, I know…alien invasion.”

“Nope,” Apocalypse answered, resting one hand on Ianto’s hip.  “The Rapture.”

Death couldn’t help but snort.   “And they believed you?”

“I gave him an actual date and time.  You wouldn’t believe how fast it got around!”

“Sometimes I wish these mortals would read their own religious texts.”

Jack laughed.  “If they did that, I wouldn’t have so much fun!”

“And now, I suppose you’re horny.”

“You know me so well.”  Apocalypse leered.  “You…me…the scythe…the coat…we have all the makings of a really good time.”

“The last time we exercised your scythe kink, the handle was left disgustingly mucilaginous.”

Jack’s eyes went dark with desire.  “Oh, say that again.”

“Not in a church.  Have some respect, Jack.”

“Will you say it later?”

“Yes, I will,” Ianto answered playfully.  It amused him that, while most lovers were turned on by dirty talk, Jack got off on fairly innocuous words, as long as Ianto said them. 

Apocalypse winked, then took Ianto’s free hand and pulled him out of the church.  “You know,” he mused as they made their way down the street, “it’s not quite as fun whispering chaos in a person’s ear as it used to be.  Those Mayans…now, they understood Apocalypse.  It just took a few words, and they were claiming the world would end in all sorts of nasty ways…”

“Those were good times.  New souls on a daily basis…” Ianto agreed nostalgically.

“Yep.  The Meso-Americans knew how to party.”  Jack squeezed his hand.  “Two days is too long, you know.  I missed you.”

If Ianto had had a beating heart, it would have melted.  “I missed you too.  Death on a planet-wide scale just isn’t as fun without you.”

“Aw…you say the nicest things.”

Ianto rolled his eyes.  “Let’s get back.  I don’t think I can stand the sappiness any longer.”

And the two men walked through the crowd, no one noticing that Death and Apocalypse were among them.

They really should have, but that was the way of things.



*Laughs* Oh yeah, I'd definitely polish his scythe...

OMG I love you!!!
I love you too! Hee!
I think - no, I KNOW I want to see more Death and Apocalypse! *sits and waits somewhat patiently*

There will be more, don't worry. I have several cliche bingo prompts that may take place in this universe.
Ahahahahahahaha -cough- hahahahaha.
I thought of you as soon as I saw the title. So glad you rose to the challenge as this is fab. I love the image of death striding down the street and Jack playing with people's minds. Great stuff.

Edited at 2011-05-27 06:04 am (UTC)
hurray for the rapture! I just knew Jack had something to do with it...
Love the 'dirty' talk!

More armageddon-verse please....!!!!
What's the next date...21st october?
Oh yes, that sneaky Apocalypse...*laughs*

More coming up at some point. Got a couple of bingo prompts that fit this universe very well.

I don't think I can wait until October to post more... *winks*
Lewd Jack is Lewd. xD

I would polish hi scyth no problemo. Everytime and evreywhere. *waggles with eyebrows* But I'm afraid that Jack wouldn't like that, when he is not invited...
He is! Him and that scythe kink..

Oh, you and me both. But getting on Apocalypse's bad side...
That was wonderful, I love this verse.
Thanks, hon! It's a hoot to write.

More upcoming, I'm sure. *grins*
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW you brought this universe of yours back!!!!!!!!
OMG! heretic language and weapons kink! bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

loved it!
Glad you liked it!

Oh yes, this universe is so much fun, and there will be more.

LOL! I can imagine how much fun Jack would have teasing the fundies.

Oh yes, I think he'd totally get off on it. *laughs*

Just brilliant! Got my vote!!! we need lots more of this!
You rock hun!
D xxx
Thanks, hon!

We'll get more, I have some very pushy bunnies. *grins*

OMG OMG they are so frigging hot. I love them. You really did give me a new kink with that damn scythe you know. I'm almost as bad as Jack.
Oh, they are, aren't they?

*Laughs* That darned scythe kink...it affects everyone!