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Myfanwy 2

March 2018



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Myfanwy 2

The Seventh Annual Torchwood Anniversary Pub Crawl - Chapter One

The Seventh Annual Torchwood Anniversary Pub Crawl - Chapter One
Author: Milady Dragon
Series: Dragon-Verse
Rating: PG-13
Pairing(s): Jack/Ianto; Gwen/Owen
Warnings: Language
Spoilers: Up through S1 E8, and for other Dragon-Verse stories
Disclaimer:  I don't own Torchwood, I would have treated it better.
Author's note: Here is another story from the Dragon-Verse.  This one is a bit light-hearted, and follows up on In Dreams.  This is also for my Cliche Bingo prompt:  "Karaoke" because I have to have Ianto singing in a pub.  Soon we shall re-join canon, however...

Summary:  It's the belated seventh anniversary pub crawl celebrating Jack and Ianto's taking over of Torchwood Three.   The team reminisce, there's some singing, and a certain person has her eyes opened where her bosses are concerned.


30 November 2007


A strong, chill wind whipped Jack’s coat around his legs as he held the pub door open for his team.  They walked past, laughing and relaxed, and he wished he could see them all like this more often.  Things had been so stressful lately, and he was glad that the Rift seemed to be cooperating, in letting them have a night to just be five colleagues out for the night, and that nothing would occur to turn them back into Torchwood Three once more.

He followed Ianto in, his eyes dropping to the dragon’s human ass as they made their way to a table toward the back.  The pub Jack had chosen wasn’t busy as yet, but he knew it would be later, and wanted his team to bond over good drinks, and good conversation before the place was heaving. 

They quickly slid into the unoccupied booth, and Jack pulled up an extra chair so he was able to sit next to Ianto.   “So, what’s everyone having?” he asked. 

“How do we decide who gets the drinks in?” Gwen asked, sitting next to Owen.

“Seniority,” Ianto answered.  “Jack first, then me, Tosh, Owen…and you last.  Then, if we’re all still sober, we start over.”

“Which means Jack gets to drink bloody water all night,” Owen added. 

“And make fun of the rest of us,” Tosh said. 

Ianto nudged her playfully.  “That’s why he’s the boss, you know.  And the designated driver.”

Jack laughed, standing.  “Order ‘em up, ladies and gentlemen.” 

His three long-standing teammates gave their usual orders; Gwen, after a second’s thought, decided on a gin and tonic.  Jack strode to the bar, putting in the order, then turned to look back at their table.

His team sat there.  He was inordinately proud of them, even while they drove him nuts at times.  Jack smiled softly, his eyes going to one particular member of that group.

After that night when the Earth Dragon had spoken to Toshiko, Ianto and Jack had decided to let things develop between them.  Jack had never really felt closer to anyone in his entire life, not even the Doctor and Rose.  If there really was a way for them to become mates, even though he wasn’t a dragon, Jack was becoming increasingly certain that it was, indeed, what he wanted.  It bothered him more than a little though that there was the potential that he’d hurt Ianto at some point, but that was a chance that all relationships faced.  They would have to deal with it, and he hoped it would be together.

And Toshiko…his brilliant friend.  She was seated beside Ianto, and the dragon was leaning into her as she grinned at something he’d obviously said.  After she’d told them what had happened – both Jack and Ianto hadn’t seen or heard what she had, and it puzzled them both – and had shown them the Earth Dragon’s mark, they’d both accepted her for what she truly was…their best friend and confidante.  It was amazing; when they’d pulled her out of that UNIT detention center, Jack had been certain she’d always remain that timid creature that her confinement had wrought.  But she’d blossomed, and Jack felt bad for ever doubting that she had the strength needed to rise above everything and come into her own. 

He hoped that both Owen and Gwen would become as close to them as Toshiko had.  Jack wanted them all to be close, and he would work for that goal. 

The bartender gave Jack their drinks on a tray, and Jack balanced them fairly gracefully toward their table.  He got them passed out, putting the cleared tray on an unoccupied table next to them, then took his seat at the head of the table.

He raised his glass.  “To another year,” Jack toasted, “and to the successes, failures…and the one we lost.”

“To Suzie,” Ianto echoed, clinking his glass against Jack’s.

“To Suzie,” Toshiko and Owen said, their own glasses touching their teammates’.

Only Gwen didn’t join in the toast, but then she’d only known Suzie as the murderer, and not the brilliant woman she’d been before the glove.   Jack decided she needed an education in Suzie Costello.  “Do you all remember the time Suzie found that piece of tech that ended up being some sort of futuristic whoopee cushion?”

Toshiko spluttered in her wine glass.  “Oh god,” she said, after Ianto had patted her on the back to clear her airway.  “She spent weeks trying to figure out what it did!”

“And all the time,” Ianto joined in, “it was making these farting noises and she couldn’t figure out where they were coming from!”

Owen nodded in agreement.  “And the bloody thing stunk!  It was like being around a dead skunk, it was so fucking disgusting.”

Gwen’s eyes were large.  “You’re kidding me!”

“Hell, no,” Jack answered, laughing.  “It would go off at the weirdest times, and she never could track it down until, finally, she was right next to it when it farted.”

“Owen blamed her,” Toshiko accused.

“I thought it was her!” Owen defended himself. “How was I supposed to know it was that damned whoopee cushion?”

“Not even a dragon with intestinal issues could make a smell that bad,” Ianto snorted.  “A normal human certainly wouldn’t.”

“Yeah, gimme a break.  It seemed like it was her at the time…or your flying rat, Ianto.”

“Myfanwy has better manners than to pass wind on someone,” the dragon said primly.  “I taught her better than that.”

“Okay,” Gwen said, “just how did you get a pterodactyl, anyway?”

“Pteranodon, actually,” Ianto corrected.  “And Jack and I caught her.”

Jack nodded, remembering.  That had been the first time he’d taken Ianto to his bed, and he considered capturing Myfanwy as a part of their very strange courtship.  “There was a Rift spike, and it led to this warehouse.  Ianto and I went in…and there she was.”

“Luckily for me I had nets in the SUV,” Ianto said.  “We might not have managed otherwise.  But Jack decided that he had to try without them, and she took him for an impromptu flight.”

“She dropped me pretty quickly,” Jack went on.

“Right on top of me,” Ianto retorted.

“You make a very soft cushion,” Jack said, leering at him.  He could still recall how it had felt to have Ianto under him, to feel his own sudden arousal match Ianto’s…and then, Myfanwy had regained their attention once more.

“It’s just a good thing my bones are very tough, or else you might have broken something.”

“But then,” Owen added, “the reaction when we all came in the next day to find a bleeding dinosaur in the Hub!”

“She’s not a dinosaur,” Ianto corrected.

“Yeah, yeah…a freaking pteranodon.  I got it, Dragon Boy.”

“But Myfanwy hadn’t been Hub-trained yet,” Toshiko stepped into the story-telling breach.  “She’d shat all over Suzie’s desk and had pulled out all the cables from around my terminals.  Oh, and we found out the hard way that pizza disagrees with prehistoric creatures.”

Ianto shuddered dramatically.  “It proved that we really needed to train her on what she could and couldn’t eat.”

Gwen looked as if she was having trouble believing it, and Jack wanted to snort.  After everything she’d seen…why was Myfanwy’s capture so hard to take?

“Are we really going to do karaoke tonight?” Toshiko asked eagerly.

Jack grinned.  “We most certainly are.  We should make it mandatory that we do every anniversary.”

“You just want me to sing,” Ianto groused good-naturedly. 

“Damn right,” Jack answered.  “You don’t get out of it that easily, Mr. Jones.”

“I don’t understand,” Gwen said.  “What’s the big deal about Ianto singing?”

Jack felt Ianto stiffen beside him at the woman’s dismissive tone, but it was Toshiko who spoke up.  “You’re kidding, right?  Ianto could’ve been a professional if he’d wanted.”

“Yeah,” Owen said.  “I keep telling him he needs to get famous so he can introduce me to Angelina Jolie.”

Ianto rolled his eyes in irritation, but the faint blush told a different story.  “It’s almost an imperative that dragons sing,” he explained, leaning slightly over the table in order to avoid anyone overhearing, even though the pub was still fairly empty.  “We have songs for everything – “

“Is that why the coffee is so good?  You sing over it?”

“Stuff it, Owen,” Ianto demanded good-naturedly.  “But yes, that’s the reason I enjoy singing, it’s because it’s in my nature.  And I’d never do it for financial gain.  It’s not like I need all that much to live.”

Jack rested his hand on Ianto’s leg, under the table, squeezing slightly in support.  He knew that the dragon was still unsure of where he stood with Gwen; the ex-PC still didn’t seem to trust him, and Ianto was afraid that it would affect their work.  Jack was hoping that, if Gwen saw Ianto as a normal person, then she might be on the road to acceptance.

If not, then she’d just have to get over it.

“But we have to lubricate the pipes a bit before he’ll actually do it,” Jack added.  “Which is why we begin the annual pub crawl here, and then move on to somewhere with the proper set-up.  Gotta get a few pints into Ianto first…”

“I don’t see what the big deal is to get me out in public, and on a stage,” the dragon said, miffed.

“It’s fun to get you in front of a crowd,” Owen answered.   “You embarrass easily.”

“Although,” Toshiko said, “if you listen closely you can hear Ianto singing while he works.  I’m sure he does it at other times, too.”

Jack remembered the last time Ianto had sung for him, and his body reacted to that recollection.  That had been the night he’d told Ianto that he’d loved him, and the dragon had said it in return.  That song had been beautiful, and it had added something to their lovemaking that Jack couldn’t name.  It wasn’t just that Ianto sang; it was the power behind it, especially when he was singing in the dragon tongue. 

“I heard him singing in Latin once,” Jack volunteered.

“Like a religious song?”  Gwen asked, curious.

Ianto shook his head.  “I was born in the 19 BCE.  It would be another 60 plus years before Britain would come fully under Roman occupation, but there’d been invasions since Julius Caesar first set foot here, about 30 years before I was born, so Latin was a known language by the time I was learning my first songs.   My father was very well-traveled, so I learned not only Latin, but Egyptian, Hellenistic Greek, and Persian…although, I’ve pretty much forgotten the Persian.  And this doesn’t count the old British and Welsh dialects.  My father, himself, spoke a dozen languages, but they’re all dead and gone now, except for snatches in books.” 

Jack could hear the sadness in Ianto’s tone, and once again squeezed his leg in sympathy.  Jack himself had lost so much in his long life, but that didn’t even come close to comparing what Ianto had.   

A warm hand clasped his, returning the touch.

Gwen looked as if she’d been smacked in the face.  “You’re…really that old?”

“I told you he was,” Jack snapped, angry that she’d obviously dismissed a lot of what he’d told her about Ianto.

“It’s just that…” Gwen looked lost for words, and it made Jack want to mentally mark his calendar.  “You’re not human; how can you sit here with us, pretending to enjoy our company?”

“Pretending?” Ianto questioned, surprised.  “I’m not pretending anything.  You’re all my team…my friends.  Okay, Owen is a bit of a twat – “

“Smile when you say that, Dragon Boy!”

“ – but, on the whole, I do like you all, and I enjoy spending time with my friends.”

“How can you even relate to us?” Gwen went on.  “I don’t understand it.”

Jack opened his mouth to call her off, but Ianto answered first.  “I can relate to you, because I was raised around humans.  When my family was murdered, it was a human family who took me in and cared for me.  I have to relate to you, because I can’t relate to anyone else.  Does that answer your question, Gwen?”

“Ignore her, Ianto,” Toshiko urged, glaring at the woman from across the table.  “She doesn’t understand because she doesn’t want to.”

Gwen looked angry, but Jack jumped in.  “We’re all teammates here, and we all need to get along if we’re to survive.  So just leave it, Gwen.  If you can’t think of Ianto as a friend, then at least consider him a teammate.  That should be good enough.  Now,” he changed the subject, “I’m done with my drink, and I think it’s Ianto’s round.  Same again?”



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Ummm...Gwen...have you been listening to anything?

Loved it!
Well, she has...but it apparently didn't make the right impression.

Here's hoping Gwen either learns to listen and like Ianto or someone (I don't care who) gets completely drunk and tells her off. Ugh. Stupid woman.
I can promise you this: Gwen is going to have an interesting time in the next chapter. And she can't learn yet...I just wrote the coda for "Combat"... *grins*
loved this but Gwen .... OMG she is soooooo thick!!!!!

Yep, afraid so...but wait for the next part... :)
I like the idea of Ianto singing in front of a crowd! Must be my GDL fantasies coming to life. :D

Honestly, I don't know how the hell they stand Gwen and her questions. It's not like they haven't told her before, but it's like she's made of wood - extremely dense, hard wood that is impossible to bend or crack.
What are these GDL fantasies of which you speak? *attempts to look innocent*

You know, if Gwen is made of wood, and wood floats...and ducks float...then it stands to reason that Gwen weighs as much as a duck, and is therefore a witch! BURN THE WITCH!

Oops, sorry...Monty Python and the Holy Grail flashback there...
Ah, real!Gwen = oblivious, self-absorbed, divisive... The list goes on.
Classic line: Gwen looked lost for words, and it made Jack want to mentally mark his calendar.

I love this series! And yay to Tosh for the Gwen smack-down! We need more of that.
You hit the nail on the head, though, with regards to Gwen and her teammates. There was so much about her colleagues that she never understood, because she didn't want to understand. It was easier to live in her own little bubble, and never look at the wider world.
Yes, it does, doesn't it? Gives us such good material to work with.

Thank you! Someone certainly needs to put Gwen in her place, and it was Tosh's turn in the rota. Can you imagine the team making up a Gwen smack-down rota?

You're right, Gwen really doesn't want to understand. She has her own world where everyone's morality matches with hers, and where she knows she's right. It's just that no one else lives there, which is a very good thing...
Gwen never learned from her mistakes, so she lived in oblivion.

Looking forward to karaoke with Ianto!
You're absolutely right.

Karaoke up shortly, I promise. :)
Gwen just doesn't get it does she?

Great chapter. I am really looking forward to karaoke meets Torchwwod.
Nope, afraid not.

Thanks! Karaoke is up in a bit. :)
Singing Ianto! Yes, please!
Is there possibility that Jack will sing (for Ianto) too? And I know that Naoko has lovely voice too.
Gwen being Gwen... well, nothing new here. It's just so arrogant - to think that someone yoy don't know can't relate to humans. Funny thing, this, especially when it's Gwen who can't relate to other humans and other beings around her. And she dares to judge others! I hope somebody will set her right.
Up next! :)

We'll see about Jack singing, I can say no more.

Yes, Gwen is that way. When, in fact, you're absolutely right, she can't because she doesn't want to. As for being set right...wait til the coda for "Combat"...
Loved this chapter can't wait for the next one I wonder what song will Ianto sing. Ooooh Can't Wait!!

You'll see what he sings coming up in a bit. :)
Oh, for Heaven's sake...just lock Gwen in a cell next to Janet, and let her stew for a while. Then everybody can go out and have a nice time. Now, me, I need several applications of whiskey to loosen up enough to do karaoke. Which is too bad, considering all the money my parents spent on voice lessons for me, and all the church and school choirs I was in.

Now, how much would it take to get Owen up, and what would he sing?
But I don't want to piss off Janet, she doesn't deserve that! It would be cruel and inhuman treatment and should be against the Geneva Convention! *grins*

Alcohol is a good thing to have plenty of for karaoke, in my opinion that is.

Probably too much than we're willing to pay...LOL!
Oh Gwen. I love seeing how the others get on, but Gwen just doesn't seem to get it. I can't wait to see how she reacts to Ianto singing.
Oh, let's just say Gwen gets an eyeful of something she didn't expect... :)

Singing up shortly!
I still think that bitch needs a good slapping. might knock some sense into her. Lol. Love this, especially the story of Myfanwy and Suzie's desk. ^_^
The Gwen slapping queue is forming behind you, I think. :)

Glad you liked the stories. We all need to remember that Suzie wasn't always a crazy murderer.
People like Gwen make me fear for humanity....
You just made me LOL all over my laptop.... *laughs*
Geez Gwen. FFS. *shakes head*

Loved the update!!
That's our Gwen!

Thanks, hon!
i enjoyed the pre-glove suzie stories.
Thanks! It's good to remember that Suzie wasn't always a maniacal murderer. :)
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